I haven't blogged much about my healing journey as much as I
might have wanted to due to privacy issues. But I feel like I need to do a
little update every now and then. Partly for myself, partly for my friends and
family and partly for others who are in similar situations.
In one week, it will mark 6 months since the accident. I can’t
believe how slow the healing process has been, it’s definitely teaching me
patience. It’s been a long hard road. A lonely road. I’m so thankful for God
giving me the strength and comfort to get through this without any family with
me, with the exception of my husband. And thank God for technology! Skyping and
face timing with my family has been a life saver!
I have come such a long ways since my car accident. I think
back to the first few months where I was completely bedridden, couldn’t even go
to the bathroom or shower on my own…..talk about a lesson on humility.
Then I transitioned into getting around on my crutches. Was
on those for a long while unfortunately.
Couldn’t move my left leg, couldn’t raise or place any weight on it. I
learned very quickly how to use crutches properly otherwise my arms and
shoulders would be in a world of hurt, lol. I’m currently off crutches and have
been for a few months now! Thank God! I can walk around the house and do very
small errands like post office, pick up small (light) items from our small
market store. I feel a little freedom in being able to do these silly little
errands, but hey it’s a big step for me! I’m still not able to walk/sit/stand
for long periods of time without my lower back/tailbone feeling pained or
irritated. My biggest enemy in healing has been myself. I push myself too hard.
I need to relax more, I need to learn it’s ok to leave a dirty dish once in a
while.
I guess the main positive point is that I’M HEALING! It may
be SLOWLY, but at least I’m healing and there’s light at the end of the tunnel.
I think back to the first few months and
I don’t know how I got through it. I’m stronger than I think I am, and I’m even
stronger with God by my side.
I’m still facing some major obstacles with my healing
journey, and dealing with others such as the drunk driver who hit us. I have so
many mixed emotions about him, I’m mad at him, but I feel bad for him at the
same time. I truly pray this man learns his lesson and betters himself before
he wrecks himself and another family.
Do you ever get mad at God or wonder, what the heck God,
why?! And then something happens to make you realize oh, I see God, you knew
all along! I had one of those moments through all of this. About a year after
my husband and I got married, we had a miscarriage, only 6 weeks along, and
unplanned. We both want children but needed to wait. My heart has ached for so
long wondering why, and longing for a baby. But I got to thinking, if I would
have had that baby, I definitely would’ve had him/her with us that night, and
chances are the baby probably wouldn’t have survived a crash with an impact of
+100 mph. I couldn’t have handled that. Not saying a miscarriage is easy, but I
think God knows what He’s doing. Through all of this and all I’ve been through,
I’m learning that sometimes, most of the time, situations/circumstances in life
don’t make sense, and sometimes we can’t understand why. But we need to trust
that God has a plan and a future for us. And even though we may not understand
it, or know how it’s going to work out, He does! He has already prepared the
way! I’m so thankful we have a God that loves us no matter what, flaws and
imperfections and all, He doesn’t care He loves us because we are His children
and His eye is ALWAYS on us!
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your
own understanding;”
Proverbs 3:5
“For I know the plans I have for you”, declares the Lord. “Plans
to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.”
Jeremiah 29:11
